The challenging relationship called 'Friends'

So, I've wanted to talk about this subject for a couple of weeks, but honestly I still don't know exactly what I want to say. I was having a conversation with a friend about not having any friends. And it struck me so odd. Why is it that most women think they have no friends? Is our definition of friend incorrect? Are we expecting too much from the women in our lives? Are the women in our lives so needy that we are their friend, but would never consider them to be our friend?

So, I looked up the word friend. Here's what Webster has to say:
1 a : one attached to another by affection or esteem b : acquaintance
2 a : one that is not hostile b : one that is of the same nation, party, or group
3 : one that favors or promotes something (as a charity)
4 : a favored companion

Hmmm, I probably would not have defined friend like this. I would have said someone you can confide in, someone who knows you intimately, someone who's got your back in a time of crisis. None of this sounds like the definition above. This is a confidant, a family member, a spouse or...oh here it comes, wait for it....GOD.

Maybe, just maybe, we are seeking people to fill a void in our lives that is not for them to fill. Maybe, we have lots of friends, a few confidants and one true God who is always for us. Maybe all the whining and complaining about not having any friends to our friends should be a wake up call for adjusting our expectations and realigning ourselves with the one true friend, Jesus.

What's your definition of friend?

Urgently Pleading

This post is actually a couple of weeks old now...just deciding to actually hit the publish button.


Our pastor spoke on serving the poor this past Sunday and referenced the text 2 Corinthians 8, where Paul refers to the extreme poverty of the Macedonians yet "they urgently pleaded with us for the privilege of sharing in this service to the saints." 2 Corinthians 8:4 NIV

This got me to thinking...."Do I urgently plead for the ANYTHING? Much less the poor?" So, I compiled a list of things I urgently plead for:

1. The guy in front of me on the freeway to go faster, or get out of my way!
2. For Lucy to go to bed, so I can be lazy and do what I want to do.
3. With myself to quit being so lazy and actually keep some semblance of a clean house.
4. Lucy to be with our family forever.
5. For each kid that comes through our children's ministry to know Christ before leaving us for Junior High.

Hmmm...I had 4 ME items before I ever got to urgently pleading for someone else....scary. Honestly, I don't want to work that hard. I don't want to be passionate about something, because then God might require some sort of action from me. It's WAY easier to be lazy, focus on myself and eat all the chocolate chip cookies I want. However, the payoff for laziness, self focus and self indulgence is well...myself. What a rotten payoff. Don't get me wrong the reason for doing what God asks isn't to 'get' something in return. But, I know from personal experience that God's reward is so much greater than the sacrifice and a heck of a lot better than anything I could do for myself.

So, what DO I want to urgently plead for? Yep, you got it....another list:

1. The Widow- I've been thinking about the 'widow' in James 1:27. Many Christian agencies use this as their "ministry verse,' in serving the orphan. But, what about the Widow? It's WAY easier to take home a cute little baby than to open your home to a divorced or elderly person who has been abandoned.
2. My 'kids.' All the kiddos I get to spend Sunday morning with. Not only do I want to plead for their salvation, but for joy and perseverance. I want them to know the vast love of the Father for them and really...they can get through ANY circumstance with Him.
3. Foster Children- This one was hard for me to articulate. While I am passionate about orphans and know that Adam and I will probably adopt internationally one day, I want to plead for foster kids. I want them to know the love of a family, to know acceptance and be protected from the insecurities that come from their circumstances.

I think that's a good start....I know this list will continue to grow....if I'm willing to step out and ask...the couch is still so tempting. :)

The Dentist

So, today, Lucy went to her first dentist appointment, at the ripe old age of 6 months, 2 weeks and 5 days old. Yep....we went to see the dentist. In case your wondering...she has NO teeth. Not one. However, in the state's infinite wisdom, all children on their health plan are required to see the dentist at 6 months old and every 6 months thereafter. It took me more time to take her in and out of the van, than actual face time with the dentist.

Rest easy folks, Lucy's soft palette looks great.

Nothing to Say

Didn't mom always tell us "If you don't have anything nice to say, say nothing at all?" I guess it's not really that I haven't had anything nice to say, it's more I haven't had anything positive to say.

So, after reflecting on the past CrAzY month, here are the positive things that happened:

1. I can no longer grind my teeth, because they are missing. Yep, major oral surgery will do that...take your teeth. No, I'm not missing ALL my teeth, just the three that I was very fond of grinding in my sleep. Who knew God was sneaky like that? Taking the teeth that I was taking my stress out on, so I would have to turn it over to Him...sneaky, I tell you.

2. We still have the most wonderful, amazing pleasure of raising Lucy. Court was well...not positive. Not negative...but just a new realization that Lucy is not "ours" and her fate really does lie in the hands of ONE judge. But, she's living with us right now. No person or fear can not take that away from us.

3. I'm one payment away from paying off my surgery from December. The Lord has totally provided...just in time for the new round of bills...ooops, that wasn't positive. But, I am SO very thankful to not be paying 2 of everything.

4. Last, but not least, I have the most amazing friends and family. Seriously....I lost count of the number of different soups that came home from the church with Adam and all the flowers, cards and phone calls (thanks Adam...for fielding those. I couldn't talk the first week.) I felt so loved. And in case you're wondering...I have THE best husband on the planet!

So, there...the positive. Think about your positive...your list of negative's will pale in comparison.

Ah, the pain..er joys of foster care

As most of you know, we are adopting Lucy through the foster care system. The operative word in that statement is SYSTEM. There are so many rules, regulations and red tape that you could start seeing red if you lose sight of sweet Lucy Bear. I could make a ridiculously long list of all the rules that are crazy. However, rules are rarely created without purpose....'no, you can't put your child in a bumbo, on a table...they WILL fall out.' Thank you foster family #1276589 for making this rule possible. (Please don't misunderstand, I do appreciate that rules are necessary and am thankful that we have a system that cares enough to enforce the rules.)

Seriously, though. We had a licensing visit on Wednesday. Different from all the other social workers and child advocates who come through our doors, this was a visit to check on our adoption agency. Have they selected a safe home? Do we have all the proper documentation? etc, etc. We were warned that the licensing agent would make sure our knives were put away and that medications were in a padlocked box. Let me remind the reader that Lucy is 5 months old. If she can get to the utensil drawer or 6 feet tall bathroom cabinets, we've got bigger fish to fry.

So, being the rule follower that I am I purchased a padlock box and bag.


I loaded up the meds:
Adam set the codes for the padlocks and we were set. So for $50, Lucy can no longer access any of our medicine.

The lovely Ms. Johnson stopped by, an hour and a half early, I might add, and did she even ask where we kept the medicine? Open the drawer to see where the knives were? Make sure we had the safety latches on all the cabinets....no. But everyone can rest a little easier knowing our house is a little safer thanks to foster family #342651 incorrectly installing a mobile over the crib and their foster child ending up with a face full of pooh-bear.

Finally....the small appliance portion of our show

I've always wanted a bread maker, so I decided with my Christmas money it was finally time to get one. Unfortunately, I didn't have enough money to get "The One". I actually only had $75.00. So, I had to go searching and found a "like-new" Cuisinart for 60 bucks on Craigslist! SCORE!

The sweet little couple I bought it from was moving back to Serbia, their visas had expired and they couldn't find jobs. :(

I've made LOADS of bread in the past few months, but I'm the most proud of my Grapefruit Marmalade!

Yep, made my own Grapefruit marmalade with my bread maker!! I actually used two separate recipes. One from the recipe book that came with the bread maker and one I found online. I still need to get the professional opinion from the Roddies, but I think the recipe from the bread maker is actually more traditional...so I'll share that recipe with you...because I know you are all going to make your own now...yeah right.

I used 4 Texas Ruby Red Grapefruit from the valley, so they were SUPER fresh. (medium to large in size)

You'll also need 1 1/3 cups granulated sugar
1/4 cup orgeat syrup (good luck finding it...I went to 4 different SPEC'S)
1 box powdered pectin

Peel grapefruit using a sharp knife.
Slice the bitter white pith from the peel, leaving just a thin layer on the peel. discard bitter white pith.Cut the peel into thin (1/8 inch thick) slices and place in a medium bowl.
Cut the grapefruit into sections, removing the membrane and seeds. Add the sections and any accumlated juices to the bowl. Stir in sugar. Cover and refrigerate for 24 hours-this is to tenderize the grapefruit peel.
Stir the orgeat and pectin into the macerated grapefruit peel and sections. Transfer to the bread pan fitted with the kneading paddle. Place the bread pan in the bread maker. Select Jam on the menu. Press Start. Scape the sides of the pan when tone beeps at 5 and 10 minutes into the cycle.

Transfer marmalade to clean jars. Let cool, then cover and refrigerate. Keeps refrigerated for 4-6 weeks. (I actually sealed my jars in boiling water for 5-7 minutes, so I could keep it in the pantry.)

One batch only made a pint and a half. It would be great in little jars to use as gifts.

YUM!!

Lucy's Room

Lucy is almost 5 months old and I have FINALLY finished her room! We were so blessed to have someone give us a matching crib and changing table. (Thank you Roddies!) I picked up the Rocking Chair at Lowe's.

We got this cute little owl from here. It was really easy to put up...well it seemed easy...I watched Adam do it. :) We aren't allowed to hang a mobile or anything else for that matter over her crib.
This is Lucy's favorite spot! She loves looking at the butterflies and seeing herself in the mirrors.

I picked up these white frames at Hobby Lobby, and picked some fun fabric to create the "pictures."

The mobile I created over the rocking chair was inspired by this website. I covered some of the paper with the fabrics I used in the room.


Granny made the crib skirt and I made the curtains. (I was limited in design, because we need blackout curtains, too.)

Here's the fabric up close:
Lastly I picked up the curtain rod at Target and the rings at Bed, Bath and Beyond.

The paint color is Rejuvenate from Sherwin Williams. Adam balked at painting the whole room orange, but we both love it and Lucy does, too...we think. :)