Today

Today, I am a daughter, sister, wife, mama, co-worker, pastor and friend.  Today I will make dinner, put my daughter to bed and kiss my husband good night.  Today will not be much different than yesterday or tomorrow.  Today, I am cancer free. Today.

2 years ago today, I had a very tiny, vulnerable, 6 week old baby girl in my home that I was afraid to love.   2 years ago today I had only shared with a handful of people that I was even having surgery.  2 years ago today, I had a total thyroidectomy to remove the cancer. 2 years ago today.

I'm not a very dramatic person, and this post may seem a little sensationalized.  But, unfortunately my reality 2 years ago today WAS dramatic.  It was scary and overwhelming and I thought the best way to handle it was to act as if everything was routine and normal.  Cancer is not routine or normal.  Adoption is not routine or normal. 

If I had known what my reality would become 2 years later, would I have been less scared or overwhelmed?  Probably not.  But, I have been given the benefit of today.  A routine, normal day with the most amazing husband and precious daughter. 

Today I'm grateful for life.  Today.

A Long Time Coming

I have waited a LONG time for this, so please excuse me while I post a few of my favorite pictures of  

Miss Lucy Bea Mosley.

The very first day we met her.  4 days old.

I'm a Rock Star!

 

She has a psychedelic halo!

Sweet, Lucy Bear.

Lucy's First Birthday!

I can see you!

Cheesin' for the camera.

Child Abuse Prevention Guest Blog

Check out my guest post over at Foster 2 Forever.

Fear, Fight and Fostering

Disclaimer: Mom (and other family members) Nothing new has happened...I'm just now blogging about everything you already know. Love you!

I've experienced more fear in the last 14 months than I have EVER experienced in my LIFE! You know the "sick" meter they have posted on hospital walls for your pain level? 0-1 No Pain, 2-3 Mild Pain- all the way to 10 Unbearable pain.



If there were a fear meter I'm sure I would have ranked between 5-Discomforting Fear to 10-Unbearable Fear 90% of the last year. When we signed up for fostering to adopt I had NO idea the amount of fear I would go through.

This fear for me hasn't been a lesson in faith, rather a lesson in fight. I haven't experienced an over abundance of fear in my life, because I run from scenarios that aren't a "sure thing." I choose friends who I'm confident will not hurt me. I take jobs that I can over-achieve at. I set expectations low, so when I am disappointed...well, "I knew that was going to happen anyway because, I live in the real world." Unfortunately, my realistic personality hasn't taught me to fight for much.

Throw a sweet baby girl into the mix with parents who are unable to take care of her, family members who can't decide what they want and a broken system filled with red tape and I have suddenly found myself in the RISKIEST situation of all - the possibility that I might lose the most amazing 2 1/2 foot tall human being on the planet. And folks....I'm just not going to let that happen. Nope. God ordained her life to be a part of ours forever - He has confirmed it too many times for me to doubt Him.

So, satan...get your boxing gloves ready, 'cause you've got a fight on your hands.

So much to be thankful for...

One year ago today, we drove our little princessa home from the hospital. I'm pretty sure about 10 minutes after we got home, I sent Adam to the pharmacy for her iron and vitamins and then proceeded to call my friend Amber and cry. "What were we doing?" "This is not a sure thing." "What if her mom decides to get her stuff together and we lose her?" Suddenly, having this little baby in our house was reality and ALL my fears came to the surface.

I don't remember what else happened that evening. We obviously fed her, changed her diaper and probably stared at her incessantly...wait that sounds just like today! :) What an amazing year you have given us Lucy Bear. We love you!!

My Awesome Husband

Usually, by this time in the evening, I'm on my way to dreamland....yes I have a two month old, and yes I have an awesome husband, thus the title of this entry.

You see one of the benefits to foster/adopting is that ANYONE can provide dinner. I totally lucked out with a night owl for a husband, so when Lucy wakes up, he's STILL up and I can go to bed at a decent hour. (Don't worry, I pull my weight at about 4AM. :) )

Unfortunately, this plan does not take into account the night owl getting sick. Poor guy....I've already sent him to bed, about 4 hours before his bedtime.

So, here we are...me up past my bedtime, hangin' with Lucy and Adam, snoring in the next room.



Sleep well, babe and thanks for being a night owl!