Realities of Foster Care

With the impending visit from Lucy's social worker tomorrow, I was prompted to relay one really harsh reality of fostering - APPOINTMENTS. Not once a month, no, not twice a month....but practically every week and sometimes twice a week we have an appointment with someone, simply because Lucy is in foster care. I have become a regular social secretary.

Lucy has had 7 appointments in the last 6 weeks, and has 4 more in the next 2 weeks. I appreciate that the court believes that these kids need multiple advocates to ensure they don't get lost in the system. I appreciate that Lucy is eligible for WIC and I don't have to buy formula. I appreciate that Lucy has health care that is paid for by the state. But all of these state run agencies are required to see my child WAY more often than necessary! Remember the dentist appointment? I still need to call and schedule her one year check up. yay.

Guest Blogger

Hey everyone!

Check out my guest blog today at http://foster2forever.blogspot.com/

Can you believe it?!? Me either!

Saying Yes

Throughout our marriage Adam and I have generally been quick to say yes to the direction we feel like we're being led. It helps when the first major decision you make as a couple is to move away from home to help with a church plant. (We had been married about a minute and were the ripe old age of 20.)

And so, we set the course for our marriage. We are getting ready to embark on our 12th move in 13 years, we once owned a conversion van...with no kids, we started an adoption process to only watch it end in failure, we are now in the middle of an open CPS adoption and we're ready for a call to take 2 or 3 more. This by no means makes us some special breed of human....really you could surmise from these few facts that we're young and naive. It truly is God's grace and mercy that has made each crazy decision we've made work out. And I'll even say He gave us these crazy ideas. We've said no enough times to know that yes is much less scary.

How did we end up here?!?!

Lucy is quickly approaching her 1st birthday and of course I have been planning this birthday extravaganza since JUNE! What can I say? She's our first. Today, I was working on the guest list...dear Lord, help us all, there were 60 people on it! 60!!! I'm going to need everyone to bring their own cupcake and ice cream to afford this shindig!

Anyway...I digress. 8 people on this guest list are Lucy's biological relatives....holy cow, how did we end up here?!?! 9 months ago, when we received the call about this sweet baby girl in the NICU, if someone had told me this was going to be an OPEN adoption, I would have said, um thanks, but no. (Open meaning you meet the family members, closed meaning well...you don't :) ) Through a crazy series of events Lucy will now have relationship with her Uncle, Aunt, 5 cousins and SISTER! While, I'm still apprehensive (and will be until the judge signs the papers and says she's ours) we've ended up right here in the middle of God's amazing, mysterious plan. I'm so thankful.

The challenging relationship called 'Friends'

So, I've wanted to talk about this subject for a couple of weeks, but honestly I still don't know exactly what I want to say. I was having a conversation with a friend about not having any friends. And it struck me so odd. Why is it that most women think they have no friends? Is our definition of friend incorrect? Are we expecting too much from the women in our lives? Are the women in our lives so needy that we are their friend, but would never consider them to be our friend?

So, I looked up the word friend. Here's what Webster has to say:
1 a : one attached to another by affection or esteem b : acquaintance
2 a : one that is not hostile b : one that is of the same nation, party, or group
3 : one that favors or promotes something (as a charity)
4 : a favored companion

Hmmm, I probably would not have defined friend like this. I would have said someone you can confide in, someone who knows you intimately, someone who's got your back in a time of crisis. None of this sounds like the definition above. This is a confidant, a family member, a spouse or...oh here it comes, wait for it....GOD.

Maybe, just maybe, we are seeking people to fill a void in our lives that is not for them to fill. Maybe, we have lots of friends, a few confidants and one true God who is always for us. Maybe all the whining and complaining about not having any friends to our friends should be a wake up call for adjusting our expectations and realigning ourselves with the one true friend, Jesus.

What's your definition of friend?

Urgently Pleading

This post is actually a couple of weeks old now...just deciding to actually hit the publish button.


Our pastor spoke on serving the poor this past Sunday and referenced the text 2 Corinthians 8, where Paul refers to the extreme poverty of the Macedonians yet "they urgently pleaded with us for the privilege of sharing in this service to the saints." 2 Corinthians 8:4 NIV

This got me to thinking...."Do I urgently plead for the ANYTHING? Much less the poor?" So, I compiled a list of things I urgently plead for:

1. The guy in front of me on the freeway to go faster, or get out of my way!
2. For Lucy to go to bed, so I can be lazy and do what I want to do.
3. With myself to quit being so lazy and actually keep some semblance of a clean house.
4. Lucy to be with our family forever.
5. For each kid that comes through our children's ministry to know Christ before leaving us for Junior High.

Hmmm...I had 4 ME items before I ever got to urgently pleading for someone else....scary. Honestly, I don't want to work that hard. I don't want to be passionate about something, because then God might require some sort of action from me. It's WAY easier to be lazy, focus on myself and eat all the chocolate chip cookies I want. However, the payoff for laziness, self focus and self indulgence is well...myself. What a rotten payoff. Don't get me wrong the reason for doing what God asks isn't to 'get' something in return. But, I know from personal experience that God's reward is so much greater than the sacrifice and a heck of a lot better than anything I could do for myself.

So, what DO I want to urgently plead for? Yep, you got it....another list:

1. The Widow- I've been thinking about the 'widow' in James 1:27. Many Christian agencies use this as their "ministry verse,' in serving the orphan. But, what about the Widow? It's WAY easier to take home a cute little baby than to open your home to a divorced or elderly person who has been abandoned.
2. My 'kids.' All the kiddos I get to spend Sunday morning with. Not only do I want to plead for their salvation, but for joy and perseverance. I want them to know the vast love of the Father for them and really...they can get through ANY circumstance with Him.
3. Foster Children- This one was hard for me to articulate. While I am passionate about orphans and know that Adam and I will probably adopt internationally one day, I want to plead for foster kids. I want them to know the love of a family, to know acceptance and be protected from the insecurities that come from their circumstances.

I think that's a good start....I know this list will continue to grow....if I'm willing to step out and ask...the couch is still so tempting. :)